Sexy Brown Curly Top
by SoWicked
Summary: Little Red Riding Hood, slightly revisited...


_**Sexy Brown Curly Top**_

_A Tale, Plum Style…_

**Disclaimer:** Nothing's mine.

**Spoilers:** None

**Rating:** Don't know...PG? Maybe not the kind of tale you'd tell your kids...

_A/N: Not long ago, Stayce and I discussed tales and how they weren't originally made for children. She told me "What about taking the tale of your choice and rewriting it Plum Style?" Now, Stayce's wish is my command. ( Okay, that and the fact that this idea wouldn't leave me alone...) Here is the result. And I can't even blame the Tequila...(but I can blame Stayce!)_

_Babe, I could write a whole chapter with all the things I can thank you for. This tale's for you. Hope that our favorite BBW pays you a visit soon._

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Once upon a time there lived in the Burg, a borough of a city saturated with hydrocarbons, a Jersey girl, the sexiest and prettiest creature who was ever seen. This sexy girl had a mop of wild brown curly hair which had earned her the name of Sexy Brown Curly Top. Her mother was the perfect Burg Housewife, whose only obsession was to see her daughter married to a certain Cop and follow the same path as her mother in life. But Sexy Brown Curly Top was not ready to yield to the pressure of the Burg and turn into a Burg housewife.

Sexy Brown Curly Top had a grandmother who doted on her and lived in the Burg, not far from her. One day her mother, having made some meatloaf, said to her, "Go, my dear and see how your grandmother is doing, for I hear she's been very tired lately. Take her this meatloaf."

Sexy Brown Curly Top took the meatloaf from her mother's hands. Then, knowing perfectly well what would cheer her grandmother up the most, she went to the pantry and took a certain bottle hidden there. She put the meatloaf and the bottle in a wicker basket and set out to go to her grandmother's.

En route she stopped at the drugstore and bought a box of those little blue pills her grandmother was very fond of. Sexy Brown Curly Top had a bright smile on for she was sure it would cheer up the old lady, all right.

On her way out of the drugstore, Sexy Brown Curly Top saw The Wolf leaning against a gleaming Black Porsche Turbo. The Wolf was sexy as hell and had a very great mind to eat her up; but there were issues: The Cop never was far from her. He asked her where she was going. This pretty girl, who was almost drooling at the sight of The Wolf, said to him: "I am going to see my grandmother and carry her a meatloaf. She lives one block over." The Wolf glanced at the basket and saw the box of pills and the bottle next to the meatloaf. He grinned. "Maybe you should bring her some doughnuts too, I'm sure she would like them."

While Sexy Brown Curly Top was buying some doughnuts, The Wolf headed to the grandmother's and it was not long before he arrived at the old woman's house. He knocked at her door: tap, tap, tap.

"Who's there?"

"Your grandchild, Sexy Brown Curly Top," he replied, "who has brought you a meatloaf, doughnuts, a bottle of Cuervo and some blue pills."

The grandmother, who was very tired for she had had wild guerrilla sex with her new lover all night long, cried out: "Good girl, you do know how to cheer me up! Pull the latch and open the door, I'm too sore to get up."

The Wolf pulled the latch and the door opened. The old woman looked at him.

"Hey! You tricked me! You're not my grandchild, you're the Big Bad Wolf…" Then she licked her lips as her eyes gleefully took in The Wolf and his impressive package. " Soooo… are you going to eat me all up?" she asked hopefully, wriggling her plucked eyebrows.

The Wolf shuddered for he was big and bad but damn, that old lady was pretty scary.

"I'm not here to eat _you_ up, but help me with my plan and you'll get a meatloaf, doughnuts and a bottle of Cuervo."

"Will you throw in some of those little blue pills too, if I help you?"

The Wolf nodded.

"Okay, we have a deal!" And the old lady listened to his plan.

Some time afterwards, Sexy Brown Curly Top knocked at the door: tap, tap, tap.

"Who's there?"

Sexy Brown Curly Top, hearing the big voice of The Wolf, was at first afraid; but believing her grandmother was hoarse from screaming like a banshee all night long, she did one of her patented eye rolls and answered:

"It's your grandchild, Sexy Brown Curly Top who has brought you a meatloaf, doughnuts, a bottle of Cuervo and some little blue pills."

The Wolf cried out: " Good girl, you do know how to cheer me up! Pull the latch and open the door, I'm too sore to get up."

Sexy Brown Curly Top pulled the latch, and the door opened.

The Wolf, seeing her come in, said to her, hiding under the bedclothes: " Put the meatloaf, the doughnuts, the bottle and the pills on the table and come get into bed with me."

Sexy Brown Curly Top did as he said and got into bed. She was greatly amazed to see how her grandmother looked and said to her:

"Grandma, what big hands you have!"

"All the better to caress you with my dear."

"Grandma, what luscious lips you have!"

"All the better to kiss you with my dear."

"Grandma what a wicked tongue you have!"

"All the better to lick you with my dear."

"Grandma, what a sexy mouth you have!"

"All the better to eat you up with, my dear!"

"Grandma, what a huge cock you have!"

"All the better to please you with my dear!"

And so The Wolf caressed, kissed, licked, ate up and pleased Sexy Brown Curly Top again and again and again …

And they lived happily ever after!

(for Sexy Brown Curly Top hadn't forgotten to buy some Trojans and Advil at the drugstore…)

**Moral:**

-Never yield to the pressure some narrow-minded people try to force upon you. Don't let anyone drive you into a corner or shoehorn you into a box : choose your life and live it well.

-Don't bite off more than you can chew.

-Always be prepared: Go and get some Advil and condoms, you never know when the Big Bad Wolf will come and get you…

_The ever attentive reader will have noticed that unlike the woodcutter in Little Red Riding Hood, The Cop didn't even try to come and get Sexy Brown Curly Top at the end… Some might say he chickened out. He didn't. It's just that this guy's not that stupid, he knows fairly well that when you can't compete . . . you should just . . . beat it!_

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_First thing posted...ever. Constructive criticism welcome. If you throw stones, I'll use them to build the batcave..._


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